JUNE 14, 2008

(Excerpts from the book “If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d be Republicans Also” by Ann Coulter, Chapter 1, and Introduction: Liberals and the Woman Who Hates Them.)

JUNE 2006
On the Jersey Girls in My Number One New York Times Bestseller Godless

With my attacks on the Bush-bashing Jersey Girls I had again - but really this time! - "gone too far." This is just the spicy part from my book, with the bland factual elements of my critique omitted:

AFTER 9/11, four housewives from New Jersey whose husbands died in the attack on the World Trade Center became media heroes for blaming their husbands' deaths on George Bush and demanding a commission to investigate why Bush didn't stop the attacks. Led by all-purpose scold Kristen Breitweiser, the four widows came to be known as "the Jersey Girls." (Original adorable name: "Just Four Moms from New Jersey.") The Jersey Girls weren't interested in national honor; they were interested in a lawsuit. They first came together to complain that the $1.6 million average settlement to be paid to 9/11 victims' families by the government was not large enough.

After getting their payments jacked up, the weeping widows took to the airwaves to denounce George Bush, apparently for not beaming himself through space from Florida to New York and throwing himself in front of the second building at the World Trade Center. These self-obsessed women seemed genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them. The whole nation was wounded, all of our lives reduced. But they believed the entire country was required to marinate in their exquisite personal agony. Apparently, denouncing Bush was an important part of their closure process. These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefarazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much....

Mostly the Witches of East Brunswick wanted George Bush to apologize for not being Bill Clinton. Like Monica Lewinsky before her, Breitweiser found impeached president Clinton "very forthcoming." She also found the flamboyant Bush-basher Richard Clarke "very forthcoming." Miss Va-Va Voom of 1968 seemed to think the 9/11 Commission was her nationally televised personal therapy session and as long as government officials issued fake apologies, she could have "closure." (One shudders to imagine how Clinton ministers to four widows.) The rest of the nation was more interested in knowing why the FBI was prevented from being given intelligence about 9/11 terrorists here in the United States more than a year before the attack and would have liked to have top government officials back on the job preventing the next terrorist attack rather than participating in a charade intended to exonerate the Clinton administration.

Needless to say, the Democrat rat pack gals endorsed John Kerry for president. Most audaciously, they complained about the Bush campaign using images from the 9/11 attack in campaign ads, calling it "political propaganda" - which was completely different from the "Just Four Moms from New Jersey" cutting campaign commercials for Kerry. And by the way, how do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy. - Godless

Hillary got the party started by calling me "heartless," "vicious," and "mean-spirited." True, it was heartless of me to question whether al Qaeda had specifically targeted the Jersey Girls' husbands and whether the other 2,994 victims were just collateral damage. I should have just told them to "put some ice on that," as Juanita Broaddrick says Hillary's husband did after raping her.

...Godless sold more copies than any of my other massive bestsellers. If the remarks in my books are so "controversial" and "outrageous," doesn't that make all the Americans who buy my books a bunch of bigots? It's interesting that writers whose books don't sell are willing to slander the Americans who like my books by leaping to the conclusion that my books sell because of "outrageous remarks" rather than because I write good books. I wonder whether there's some sort of ulterior motive at work...