JUNE 13, 2008

Read this okay;

I had moved on; I lost my memory; to blame me is wrong; I got walloped and had my entire life destroyed; I did not have the resources to even date really, they threw ever bill in the book at me and if I paid it, then they took more. I got so fed up.

I have told you how I had moved and I love you Ann. This has been hard on both and I know you are a little “upset” with me about my wild ways. I know you are upset who I was going to remarry and whether or not I still love her.

Drop it. It is like me being mad at you for someone trying to rape you. Do you know how many times I got the same treatment and the homosexual guys? They want me to be the best toy for some men and my body is TEN times yours. I wear ripped jeans, look like a rocker and I work and study hard. You have to blame yourself for a lack of effort. I got sidetracked by years.

Sweetheart, I love you and I have made it known I do not want anyone. Maybe they will ease up and stop. I know how that lingering feeling about jealously not being able to do a thing. You know me. You know I am meaner than hell. That’s all you can say or will say; it was not my fault. I had no choice and they were mad at you not me. They wanted to make sure your man cried in your arms and told weird stories. I am not all I used to be and I admit it.

They are scared of you and how you embarrass them sexually. They felt you came into town for some conquest and some guy in tight ripped jeans and bulging muscles who could do 100 pull ups nonstop or 500 push ups nonstop. Not many human beings can even do this and look this good.

I understand why you are little jealous and how they took that little special part of your life and my life. They knew we were the best and probably knew when you got mad when they hit the hell out of me. They also knew I had dated rich blondes exclusively but they are dumb.

The girl they set me up with were young and gorgeous models; the one that clicked was a total beauty queen but I have not and never understanding to the idea that I want someone to “do better or worse” when choosing which mate I want or need. I choose who I love and truly love. I do not even care about money and I know you do not either. Why am I telling you this?

I am a little nervous at what happened and I know you accepted what I did or had done. You know how I feel about this and how I have always wanted marriage and family. I also stopped going to the beach since everything happened. I hardly even go out now. I know how you feel okay and I get a little jealous sometimes also. They screwed you over more than they screwed me over but they took the special part out of my body, looks, and other aspects.

I would say, there were so many women who wanted me and that may be why they hit me so hard and got so jealous. I could have gotten anyone and for some reason they knew we would be madly in love.