JUNE 12, 2008

Oh my god,

Ann baby, I have to fall on my knees and beg for your forgiveness. I was getting shot up so badly at the time. I was doing everything I could and I did not know what was happening or how to stop it. My memory is returning and I remember what happened between me and you.

Ann, this is not the right way to go out baby. I love you so much, why didn’t you just tell me and explain to me. Why did you wait all this time? I have a jog memory except some of the events before I blocked this entire out. I know what I said, “I don’t want to talk to you any more, do not even call or try to contact me. I am so mad, I am so hurt, I am so helpless.” And then when you… I kept hanging up and refused to keep in touch. Then I must have either lost my memory completely or did not recognize you.

Ann, baby… you should have moved on. You are making this very difficult for me and I left and as I had promised, was trying to make a new life for myself and keep what I had left. Oh my god, I remember what happened now. I remember what I said to you and how it made you feel. Afterwards, you tried to call and I did not even recognize you because of my coma or something in my brain. I think it traumatized me getting hit so many times and the pain.

I finally remember. I had blamed you for standing there and not doing anything. Then I told you to move on and don’t try to contact me anymore; you kept on telling me to fight back and challenge them. I didn’t want anyone or anything to happen; I just wanted it to stop and to love a girl. So they set me up and then took me out. Then I turned around and blamed you and told you to never ever talk to me again.

Ann, baby, I am bleeding, and this is all out of whacked. Why did you wait so long to tell me or… it hits me like a ton of bricks. So you did not leave and you did not give up as I had told you. My god, these people are so evil. They were holding me down, hitting me with everything they had; they messed you up and shut you up or something.

So now you have come to tell me what happened and how you stayed by me even if I had blamed you. I only wanted to protect what I loved and the more I did, the more they hit me, I literally was begging. I begged for your safety and I begged them to stop and to leave you alone. I felt that if I just left or took them off hunting you down; then I don’t know. You told me to tell them to call the Pentagon and they refused. I remember you said and told them and were giving me legal advice.

Ann, baby… I am so sorry it came down to this. Then to make it worse, they did the moveon.org thing to tell you or give you a hint. As if you were crazy or I was crazy. Oh my god baby; all those years, you were scrambling and trying to make it right? I forgave you but I am still going through some of the things such as the Alias episodes. I honestly have blocked everything out and our last conversation. I told you to never call me or talk to me and then I said “ever since I have met you, you have been nothing but problems.” Baby, I was getting hit so hard and they got angrier and angrier tracking me down at the beach and I was afraid for others, not myself. I do not know what to say and you have told me what happened… at least I’m still learning.

You had come back and looked for me, lol, and for some time now. That is not funny when you keep saying, “I told you I loved you.” That is not funny at all even though it is that shit grin I know so cleverly well. Welcome back my sweetheart and yes, I do love you. I promised already okay… this will not happen again. I am still recovering now and my memory is coming back to me. Time you did some talking… these people are fooking EVIL.

Love,
Ann.