8/27/2008 9:20:27 PM
Ann,
8/27/2008 10:58:06 PM
Back in 2002, I had told you it was time to pack things up and for you to contact the British or any other reliable intelligence agency of what was occurring and why. I hope you took that step.
This is and was a total surprise. I can no longer take guesses and play games with you then ask questions which will never come up or happen. In the past, you had a tendency to tell me one thing and do another when it came to love. After 10 years of trying to marry and having all life pursuits blocked, you saw for yourself on politico.com what was happening and why. All the evidence is there.
I must prepare to make life without you. I honestly have bad feelings for you and your lackluster attempts in the love category. You should of showed up in 1998 and 2002 when I was preparing to marry the most gorgeous and sweetest girl at the beach. So what if she was a spy or your nemesis, she was great in bed.
Soon, I must prepare to cut you out of my life. I have waited 20 years and you have a tendency to sit motionless while the world changes. Then you go and do things which end up pissing me off about how you like or live a promiscuous single life. I am not going to be a safety net for that and wait until I am 69 to marry you. As a matter of fact I am kind of mad at you for wasting more and more time while your love life and biological clock ticks or expires.
You probably will not fall in love again and my best chances will be to start a new life. I have nothing to my name and a journal of horror and bad memories. I have to worry about things in life such as whether or not I will have enough money for the winter bills, will I eat next week, will I get another court order or subpoena trying to intimidate or tamper with my life work.
Right now, I know no other life but in some dungeon. Each and every time I do something wrong or make these kidnappers mad, they begin stomping on the floor or pay a visit, or begin stalking me at the grocery store. It is a vile existence. I get scolded and “put in place” when and if I go against the Democrats and now with your introduction to my life; get the Republican in the mix.
I personally think President Bush is a traitor. In the last ten years, he has sanctioned and even encouraged this kidnapping and “dungeon keeping” while they figured out or investigated your involvement. How were you and I communicating and who we were talking to? Bush even came on the media and said, “We need to know who he is talking to.” I have written why and what they said to me in the years I have spent in their dungeon and with Ostermann Weekend like clarity.
It is a shame you had to wait for me and it is a shame you will do as I expect and sit there for the rest of your life as we slip further from each other. Maybe it is not meant to be and maybe you have a reason for keeping me there but not in your life. I will do what I did in 2002 and remarry or find a good mate who puts the effort forward and does not equivocate in efforts. I know you will wait all your life and if I do not question why you would by yourself. Maybe you love that single life.
I am not you and the romantic type. I have been fighting this war since 1988 and will be for the rest of my life. There is nothing here I like or enjoy, it is a trash dump of jackass angry criminals and labor infested goons who want me you or us to save them or save the communist state so they can become more powerfully weak and stupid. I cannot stand it and will go crazy in this dungeon of leftist and living behind enemy lines. It is crazy and I hate it. I must begin to prepare life without you as I cannot wait another 10 years as you keep chalking up or scratching in the plan book.
Thus or however, I must begin to attack you and in the most vicious ways to cut off the links and the sedentary motions which your lackluster attempts have been based on which got me to remarry. I was not pleased with what you did and more appeals to have me wait and live this single life you wish of me or for us. I have yet to figure this out and get very jealous with your love life even if I do not really care for any woman and never get jealous. I would rather have you gone and out of my life then be jealous. You remind me of my first fiancé who drove me insane this way until I began to sleep around. It was only until I met Lori that these chains were broken.
I had stopped my search for Lori even if she was a spy or not, she gave me back my life. I do not like this game and I do not like your game. You have some power over me and make me very jealous even if I do not get jealous at all. I am forced to attack you and to push you into the depths of hell to release this lock and your wish I not find love, marriage, family, and depart with a single life. My fiancé before was a total disaster who wished that but she had this lock you have on me now. I truly hated my fiancé for being so imperfect and such a weakling who hyper ventilated hysterically when and if I tried to break up with her.
I do think you will wait all your life and sit in there proclaiming your love and this power over me. I see your past and how you live a life which I basically hate because you go out and date so many men or always make appearances and in some photo op chatting and flirting with men. Some advice, you will never find a man if you do this. Men hate to see pictures of women at parties drinking and in the company of bachelors wishing to ravish her. It leaves them with bad memories and the idea you like to sleep around. Also, magazine reports of drunken fits or wild parties do not help your love life or married life. Take it from me, you will end up on the arm of a stalker or some deranged fan-feign.
I was supposed to marry at age 18. I only met you when I was 19 and you had just graduated law school. Anyhow, if you have waited all your life for this and to finally find me again, then I know you will understand how I feel and this utter disaster which occurred in both my love life, career, and how the future of this country will be. I am also buried in legal complaints and near mobster stacks of racketeering, murder, intimidation, false imprisonment, treason, slander, etc… all because the black male was becoming extinct and had to have my help or our support.
I spit on the graves of them, the liberals and even Republicans for allowing my capture and dungeon existence where the Catholic Church scolded you will labor stupidity and determination when their god damn trash dump fortitude of angry thoughts and ideas failed. That is a psychopathic loser and I hope their church gets F up the butt for all the problems they have caused on this nation and the lives of others. They should not even be breathing and yet they are so pervasive here in the USA. They think it is a conspiracy on them and a WASP hate or some mental illness. It is nothing more than a liberal conspiracy and very powerful.
Everybody can see how they are and fared against the best soldiers in the world and the last line of defenses who actually have a verifiable ticket on a nuke sub, 300 years of political real estate, and victory at World War III. These people are desperate and they will not leave quietly.
I would rather be with you, in your arms, in our bed, and just like old times our endless conversations and sick jokes. We lived a good life single and apart and I will never accept your single life even if you want to wait your entire life. I do not want you as a mistress and would not even think of that. After what I have been through, it feels like this country is a trash dump where perfect people or perfections is “behind enemy lines.” Yet the jackasses and the dumpster idiot acts like God and how we are some prisoner and must save their pandering lifestyle.
You and I know that only war will end this and the problem with communism. The only weapon which has been successful during the Cold War against these spies and enemy combatant was or has been war; yet they march and protest peace.
I wish you were the girl in my arms or in my bed. I wish you were not so set in your single life and will live out your life single. It is not for me and not what I wanted to hear. I must after this long horrific ordeal begin to prepare a new life. I do not have faith and being buried with all the legal problems and blocked completely from any financial ways to pay; still hate the liberals, the blacks, and my kidnappers the Democratic and Republican parties.
Do you honestly think I will ever get a fair trial or can even reclaim my perfectionist and perfect way to live? Then they took my looks away and also tried to scramble my brains up like egg soup, they called it racism and sensitivity to black experience. Who cares and why in hell would anybody give a rat’s ass about some loser or their church? Do you have any idea how high it goes and who all is involved? This was huge and the mess they made in America has yet to be told.
I do not know if we will ever be together and can cordially only think of our partnership and fight in the most difficult period of history and the biggest fight of our life. Too bad we had and were on a different mission. Why they grabbed us and got us into race politics is stupid as stupid gets. They are the worst in the class, the poorest, and the least to success; but the most defiant, most militant, most stupid, and the most superior jackass sadistic fool I have witnessed on earth. To death blows their horn.
I hope they realize we are the last line of defense and they kidnapped the wrong people who were on a whole other mission. Just like some terrorist hijacking, neither of us knew what the hell they wanted or was going on. Maybe they will try to murder or kill you or I and maybe the President will help them and skirt off to Europe and make huge charitable donations.
The only path to justice is to intern them but the problem is so severe and caustically evil; we are doomed to a life of really bad memories or trauma. When you snuck up on me, I had never felt so much joy and love in my life. Not even Lori came close. Lori only offered a level 3 on a scale of 10; your love was tipping almost 18 or 19. Maybe you waited all your life and maybe our life was taken? I think it was taken and stolen. I have no idea how to deal with this communist threat and pain the ass anymore than I know how to rid crime and get rid of these losers.
Yet they flood here from all over the world and join unions or vote to repeat what happened to us or our dungeon life while behind enemy lines. I doubt if this threat will understand words or in the 10 years even gets the clue. People do not want them in their life or their nation yet they flood here. This nation will only survive without them.
So I ask you when and if you wish to be together finally before I begin the campaign to forgive and forget. I have to begin to cut you out of my life. You have powers over me and you love that single life way too much. That bothers me a lot considering my first fiancé rushed marriage and I hated her guts and the endless hyper ventilations and hysterical crying. She was Catholic and a nice girl she could love and was caring. But she had a power over me and was so stupid weak. Other girls hated her and how she just never got along with anyone.
It is weird. Your high school picture looks identical to Tori Macini, my first girlfriend. Then your dead head pictures look exactly identical to my fiancé. Your “dark brown” turn around picture looks like (jock football diva Cassandra) roommate in 1998 who was courting me but had a bad drug problem and was a total bitch, meaner than hell. Also, Lori dropped her bikini (actually it is a way a girl surrenders) in the techno room after following me around at the beach; and we know that picture of you is for real. Thanks for the thought and also the idea I have no reason to be jealous. Then your picture in 2003 looks identical to Lori in 2002 (tan leather jacket on Real Time). So who the hell are you looking like now? The trail ends there and 2005 (unless you count the Russian Jew who I kept wondering about who I dated for two months and took to Manhattan).
Do you want to take the honors or do you want me to take the honors. I was prevented from talking to you on politico.com and you have to ask why the level of stalking is so severe on you and me. We are not even allowed to talk or hang out. I have no way to chat or mix with you. We had so much fun on politico.com and I felt so alive. It was heaven on earth and the girl I met at 19 who waited and found me finally. I hope you took notes through the years and heard all my complaints my best friend. We have to say good bye soon and end this.
Our future is precarious. My future is very precarious. After I print this book which I will independently and autograph; then seek a publisher (have no clue who) my world will end. The price on my head will be so high. This was why I opted to wait after marriage and family but was hijacked and kidnapped. My entire life shut down and life plans disrupted or gone. You have actually were the only one through the 20 years who has been there or even knew, only you and you only. No other girl knew, no girlfriend was ever told, and it was coming to my grave but at least the public knows why now.
I would have rather sat idly for World War III and enjoyed life with you and raising our kids. We messed up and were humiliated there also. While I was kidnapped, I must thank you for waiting and I have no idea why you are here now. I never gave you that order or asked that. I asked you to hide and keep running low, then call the British or any other for help. I was shocked to hear your voice in 2005 and the pure love I had felt from you. It was calm more than my own family.
If you have plans to marry, then do it. If not then we must prepare to depart. It is too crazy and the corruption level is getting worse and worse. The words go in one ear and out the other while the speeches sound as if you and I gave them. We will piss our life away trying to worry too much or burning our entire life of midnight oil on this. We need to make plans on the next how the next 20 years will go and whether or not you want to stay or tie this union finally. If not, then it is okay, I am not hurt or jealous.
If you want to marry you must let me know and if you want to live your single life, then say so. I have to start planning and you as my partner know we may be running our entire life but we spent 20 years training and getting ready. They will be fighting this war, and that war, and this satellite warfare war until the end of time or when the last breath on earth expires. How is it that it is just you and I here on this lonesome and lonely earth?
Are we some messenger and sent at a special time and place or are we a victim of a bad time and place with a fight like the devil himself. The odd part is how these jackasses run loose and just wish to expound their proud work and what the last 10 years and the next 10 years will be like for them. They have declared war on mankind. They declared war on the last line of defense and heaven. They are at war with the almighty God himself and they do not even realize that God will not stop until every single one of them is dead and out of this nation. Yet they blame us and our side. We end up with all the investigations and living in a dungeon.
Are you coming with me to live underground or are you planning on marrying me? Make up your mind because if not, I must and have to go underground if I wish to stay alive. I have no choice and when things change or happen, they will blame me and know who did it or why. How can you refuse that, it is suicide my double encrypted partner… but at least both you and I love it when we go down in a blaze of glory and with our guns blaring as music from Vietnam captures our soul and reminds us of our tradition of war fighting and being the toughest breed on earth. The doctors said you can have kids until you turn 80 years old.
It is time we marry or split and there is no pressure on you okay, it is suicide and a hefty little price on my head for World War III. They said you were chicken shit also, is this true? Also, they think I am a phony soldier and chicken shit but they forget where I am from and how my family and your family have been fighting this war since the beginning of the century. Both I and you logged in 20 full years of this secret war, count them 20 and we are getting stronger and stronger even if they call us chicken shit. Do they know how fatigued you get after just 10 years? Try 3 years in prison then tell me how it is or how tough they are. They got a serious and major problem in their head. Messing with the last line of defense is a major malfunction altogether itself.
It is a dangerous next 20 years; decide what you wish to do and whether or not you can weather the storm. We will be fighting this for sometime and it will get worse and worse as we slip into hell itself. Just the price on my head will not be a bargain… and they will see why soon enough. I cannot believe they did this and to us… just cannot believe it.
Write me and let me know with what your plans will be okay… partner.
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